Nine Facts, One Falsehood (Part Two)

Slight return to an earlier post tonight. Nine of the statements below are facts. One of the statements below is false. Which is the lie?

  1. I earned my first paycheck as a journalist when I was 13 years old. I was hired to write the “Teen Corner” column for the Mitchel Field News, which was supposed to be sort of a social column for the teenagers on a military base. I was fired a few months later because I used my column to write reviews of Steely Dan and Jethro Tull records instead.
  2. On my home office desk (where I type now) I have: a pair of fuzzy dice, a Beavis and Butthead statue, a stuffed frog, a stuffed sloth, Chinese bells, and a Spongebob Squarepants lunchbox.
  3. I have a series of circular scars on my left leg and foot from dropping molten plastic on myself while burning a model airplane. The plastic burnt itself into the flesh, then hardened there and had to be pulled back out.
  4. I haven’t intentionally taken a nap since approximately 1987. I only seem to have enough “go to sleep” chemical to do it once a day, and if I fall asleep during the day, then I stay up all night. So I actively avoid falling asleep during the day.
  5. I never used sunscreen growing up, and in fact was a devotee of tanning oil, which gave me a beautiful mocha tone and (later) two rounds of skin cancer.
  6. When I graduated from the Naval Academy, I had to choose between a variety of staff corps position with schools in Colorado Spring, Norfolk and Athens, Georgia. I chose Athens (Supply Corps School) because my favorite band (Butthole Surfers) had recently relocated there from Austin. By the time I actually arrived in Athens, though, they had moved back to Texas.
  7. Peter Buck of R.E.M. publicly insulted my musical tastes in front of a bunch of giggling sycophants at the Wuxtry Record Store in Athens, Georgia (where he worked, before he was famous) when I appeared at the cash register carrying Einsturzende Neubauten and Fad Gadget records. I knew who he was, but I still said “Shut up, record clerk, and take my money.”
  8. Kim Deal got angry with me during an interview when I asked her about a side project that was actual her twin sister Kelley’s gig.
  9. I listen to Wings albums far more than I listen to the Beatles and John Lennon’s solo albums combined.
  10. I used to bite my nails, but now I keep emery boards at all of my desks, and as soon as the urge to nibble arises: FILE! FILE! FILE! As long as nails are smooth, there is no desire to nosh.

Nine Facts, One Falsehood

1. I am tenth in direct line of descent from the first English settler of South Carolina.

2. I have been in the World’s Largest Truck Stop, in Walcott, Iowa.

3. I have broken 100 on a regulation golf course, once.

4. I have a lazy right eye and atrophy of two fingers on my left hand.

5. I used to go sailing with Oliver North.

6. Admiral Hyman G. Rickover yelled at me during commissioning ceremonies for the submarine named after him.

7. I used to play acey deucy late into the night with the NBA’s David Robinson.

8. My current house is the 26th one that I have lived in, to date.

9. I have visited the site of Alvin Straight‘s house, but it was burned down when I got there.

10. When I was in sixth grade, I could see the dome of Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary from my bedroom window.

So . . . which one is the lie?