Dear New York . . .

Please shut up and enjoy your beer. There are grownups doing serious work out here, and you are just too noisy and distracting. Yes, yes, we know that you have more electors in the Borough of Queens than we have in our entire state, but that and a cup of coffee will get you a cup of coffee. So sit down and be quiet and drink your beer. We’d put the Islanders game on for you, except they’re on strike. Again.  So have a nice, quiet day. We’ll be in touch when you need to know something. There, there . . . shhhh . . . there, there . . .

Best regards,

Iowa