Me And Sweetman’s Christmas

Me and my friend Sweetman, we was deep in dismal thought,
late at night over whiskey (straight) down at Grumpy’s Drinkin’ Spot.
It was Christmas Eve, yes sir, and our wives, they had gone and left,
(though that had been many years ago, we was still a bit bereft).

We was chewin’ on pigs feet, the kind we pulled out of the jar
that sat next to the pickled eggs and the calves brains behind the bar.
And Sweetman sighed and said then, he told me “Man, this just ain’t right,
we really oughta get us something better to eat for tomorrow night.”

Right then, at that moment, we heard some sleigh bells overhead,
so we stumbled outside, looked up, and saw a bright red flyin’ sled,
it was headin’ off southward, behind a dozen head of deer,
so I grabbed me my gun real quick before that meat could disappear.

Like an ace, well, I drew a bead upon the twelve point buck in front,
while my good partner Sweetman, he just shut up, like when we hunt.
Then I pulled me the trigger, and saw that buck come tumbling down,
me and Sweetman we walked a bit, and found our dinner on the ground.

Man, I tell you, that Christmas night, we had the best damned supper yet
’cause that deer made a lot of steaks, plus some sausage I won’t forget.
So me and Sweetman we sat there, feelin’ bloated and pleased as swine,
gettin’ drunker and drunker on hooch that we made from turpentine.

— Copyright 2004, J. Eric Smith

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