Oh sure, someone says “Iowa Movies” and you think Field of Dreams (yuck) or The Music Man (snore) or The Bridges of Madison County (barf). Believe it or not, though, there’s much more to Iowa’s great film heritage, if you know where to look at the discount video store. Here are a collection of classic Iowa film titles for your viewing pleasure, if you need a distraction to while away the days with your family and friends before the Hawkeyes’ big game in the Also-Has-A-Football-Team Bowl:
Days of Wine and Soybeans: Two average Iowans descend into the abyss after a weekend binge sampling spree at the Farmers Market.
Des Moines Alexanderplatz: A small-town petty thief is drawn into the seedy underworld of caucus politics in Iowa, where one plus one equals Romney, until it doesn’t.
Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control: The parking lot turns fast and furious as gas prices drop below $2.00 per gallon at Kum & Go. Grab a Dutch letter, while you can!
Gone With the Wind: Gritty documentary about Iowa’s turbine energy market after federal subsidies expire. In the end, no one gives a damn.
Hoop Dreams: Fran McCaffery tries to meet his potential as a big-time college coach, despite being severely temperamentally handicapped.
Iowapocalypse Now: Soldiers seek Colonel Ernst up-river after a Tea Party-fueled war on federal subsidies destroys Iowa’s economy.
The King of Comedy: Rupert Pupkin kidnaps a nutty Northwest Iowa Congressman to learn his kooky secrets and becomes a big FOX News star.
Loess Hills Cop: Axel Foley moves from Woodbine to Council Bluffs to solve the mysterious disappearance of his farm’s value.
Mean Streets: Johnny Boy has to navigate his way around the tough roads of Clive while the green belt bike path is closed.
My Left Feet: A tragicomedy about Iowa Democrats bumbling to overcome their incredible handicaps during the 2014 elections.
The Postman Always Rings Twice: Cora Smith almost misses her “TV Guide” delivery, but her diligent mail carrier saves the day.
She’s Gotta Have It: Nola Darling goes to the Iowa State Fair to find hot romance, then settles for a red velvet funnel cake on a stick instead.
The Taking of Earlham One Two Three: Ruffians hijack a combine in Madison County and threaten to knock down a silo.
Groundhog Confinement Day: Terry Branstad re-lives the same day as Iowa’s Governor over and over and over and over again until he gets it right.
Back to the Future VI: Marty McFlyover and Doc Browncamplofts drive a souped-up Chevy Tahoe to 1982 (again) to find a new/old governor (again). Again.
Bang the Drum Slowly: Surrealist gem about the Iowa State Cyclone marching band learning victory songs, which they never quite get to play.
Chuck & Terry & Steve & Joni: A comedic romp about a hip GOP foursome’s attempts to embrace truth, candor, and transparency. Hilarity ensues.
The Day the Earth Stood Still: Aliens invade Iowa demanding peace. The state forms several community task forces to evaluate options. Nothing happens.
Driving Mister Terry: Poignant tale about a patient state trooper tasked with transporting the Governor around the state at high speed.
Pigmalion: Henry Piggins turns Eliza Dubuquelittle into a real Iowa lady by teaching her how to castrate and slaughter her own hogs.
Quadrophenia: It’s casino workers vs Alcoa factory-hands in the Battle for Bettendorf, while Jimmy is stranded in Rock Island, reminiscing about Davenport.
The Thirty-Nine Steps: The power’s out at the Des Moines Civic Center. Will theater goers be able to make it back into the Skywalk alive?
Trainspotting: Des Moines young professionals attempt to make it from their lofts to the Court Avenue bars before their path is block by the daily freight train.
The Year of Living Dangerously: Guy Hamilton and Billy Kwan are trapped in the Des Moines Marriott bar without pretzels as the city descends into disarray on caucus day.
Yellow Subaru: Four mop-top musicians take a hallucinatory road trip around Des Moines’ East Village, with a stop at Zombie Burger for a Blue Meanie Martini.
J. ERIC SMITH 