The holiday season can be tough and stressful, but pragmatic Iowans can always be counted on to say just the right thing when you need a little motivation to help move you along. Here’s a second installment of useful Iowa inspirational quotes to help you navigate mud and fog season without punching Santa Claus:

“It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. KCCI, however, said there was a 90% chance of precipitation.”

“That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Then winter comes, and we strongly wish we were dead.”

“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. Then claim it was intelligent design.”

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss beating Terry Branstad.”

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, and some run for Congress in a GOP wave year.”

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor, though it’s still better with bacon.”

“We see things not as they are, but as we are. Until the Jagermeister kicks in, anyway.”

“If you’re going through hell, keep going. Because the state line can’t be more than three hours away.”

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And if you play basketball for the University of Iowa, then you also miss 100% of the ones you do take.”

“Do not go where the path goes, but go where there is no path and make a trail. Or just spin some donuts.”

“The only way to have a friend is to be one. Or to have really good tickets for the Tim McGraw concert.”

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Then you get in your truck, and it goes a lot faster.”

“Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted. Sort of like caucus votes.”

“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Governing is just doing things.”

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. Good thing we have no mountains in Iowa.”