Iowa Olympics: The Decathlon

Ten grueling events designed to test your strength and stamina as an Iowan:

1. Cinema Huddle: How close can you sit to the only other people in an otherwise empty theater?

2. Public Personal Reveal: How many gross intimate medical details can you share with a stranger in ten minutes?

3. Outdoor Voice Inside: How far can your awesome story be heard across a quiet restaurant?

4. Four Way Gridlock: How many other cars can you wave through while backing up traffic at a four-way stop?

5. Market Meander: Who can cover the greatest random chaotic distance between two booths at the Farmers Market?

6. Charity Charade: How many donors can you attract for your really bad idea? (Bonus points for securing State funding!)

7. YP Professional Pad: How many fantasy items can you get on your “Young Professional of the Year” resume?

8. Mondo Modesty: Who can proudly shout “Iowans are humble and don’t like attention” the most in public?

9. DSM Debutante: Who can nab the most photo appearances in the society pages of JUICE and DSM Magazines?

10. Two Inches of Terror: Who can take the baldest tires at high speed onto 80/35 after dusting of snow?

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