Iowa Oddities Tour

Since I had the full weekend for exploration after my Pink Flag adventure yesterday, I decided to investigate some other Iowa oddities, while also heading up to the northeast corner of the state, which was my favorite region when I did my Full Grassley in the winter of 2011-2012. My next planned stop was in nearby Centerville, which had seemed like a sound geographical omen for Graham Lewis when he was seeking to identify a point at the geographic center of the prairie, demarcated with its regular lines of roads. Interestingly, though, I knew that the name of Centerville had nothing to do with its location near the center of the North American continent: it was actually a misspelling of a city originally named for William Tandy Senter. Iowans are funny that way, in naming their towns for folks from other places.

Why do I know this about Centerville? Because Carl Weeks, who built Salisbury House, where I work, once operated a pharmacy there, around 1900. We have a picture of it in our archives, and here is what it looked like then:

Carl Weeks Pharmacy in Centerville, Iowa, circa 1900.

Carl Weeks’ Pharmacy in Centerville, Iowa, circa 1900.

We didn’t have any note of the address of Carl’s Pharmacy in our records at Salisbury House, but I found this video of some old postcards from Centerville, and was pretty sure that I could see the store at the southeast corner of the town square at around the 1:00 mark. Sure enough, when I got there, I was able to match several architectural features between our 1900 photo and the modern store’s facade, and was able to positively identify its location: today it is a chiropractor’s office. Here’s what it looks like now, with some significant brickwork having been done in ensuing years:

Carl Week's Pharmacy in Centerville is now a chiropractor's office.

Carl Weeks’ Pharmacy in Centerville is now a chiropractor’s office.

After making this important work connection, I turned northward, wanting to make it to Decorah, in Iowa’s hilly northeast corner, before sunset. I did make some stops for photos along the way for a few Iowa Oddities, though, including The Great Pyramids of Avery, the Stoneman of Fayette, and The Smallest Church in America. Here’s the photo record:

The Great Pyramids of Avery, Iowa. Taken while sitting on the bench its builder built to admire his handiwork.

The Great Pyramids of Avery, Iowa. Taken while sitting on the bench its builder built to admire his handiwork.

The Stoneman of Fayette, Iowa. I was in a rental car, as my own car is in the shop. Pity, because I always keep a necktie in my own car, and I would have donated it to the Stoneman, since his current cravat is a bit weather-worn.

The Stoneman of Fayette, Iowa. I was in a rental car, as my own car is in the shop. Pity, because I always keep a necktie in my own car, and I would have donated it to the Stoneman, since his current cravat is a bit weather-worn.

St. Anthony of Padua near Festina, Iowa. Allegedly the smallest church in North America, if not the world.

St. Anthony of Padua Chapel, on a dirt road near Festina, Iowa. Allegedly the smallest church in North America, if not the World.

I arrived in Decorah around 5:00 PM. It’s one of my favorite Iowa cities, though it had begun raining around the time I arrived, so I did not get to walk around it as much as I might have liked. I spent much of the evening at an excellent sports bar watching underdog Wichita State (an MMAL!) give Louisville its money’s worth and then some in an NCAA Final Four game, before retiring to my hotel room to ponder my next day’s drive. As I looked at my map, I was surprised to realize that I had been very near that point some 22 years before, under very different circumstances . . .

In March 1991, our only daughter, Katelin, was born in the suburbs of Washington, DC, where we owned a house. Two months later, my employer unexpectedly transferred me to Idaho Falls, Idaho, so Marcia, Katelin, and I had to drive across most of the North American continent to reach our new home. We wanted to visit Marcia’s family in Minnesota on the way. Prior to having our child, we had normally driven two long-haul runs to make this trip, the first from Washington to Chicago, where we had friends, then the second from Chicago on to Minneapolis.

This trip, though, we had a four month old nursing infant, so we decided that we needed to do shorter drives each day, and I was tasked with finding a nice way-station between Chicago and Minnesota. Back in the pre-Google days, this meant that I ordered a “Bed and Breakfasts of Wisconsin” book from our local bookseller weeks in advance, and then made reservations based on the information contained within, with no way to verify anything. I chose what appeared to be a lovely bed and breakfast in Ferryville, Wisconsin, right on the Mississippi River, for our overnight stay between Chicago and Minneapolis.

It was not a good choice. We had no idea, for starters, that we had arrived during the very brief period each year when billions of caddisflies emerged from the Mississippi Rover for their frenzied mating season: we could not leave the bed and breakfast without inhaling swarms of flying insects desperately trying to fulfill their reproductive prerogatives. So we hunkered down in our room with our tiny child, and figured we’d have a nice evening of talking and reading — until the entire building began to vibrate and roar, as the first of many massive freight trains on the Mississippi River Line barreled down its tracks, 20 yards across the street.

It was mind-blowingly loud, and it happened about every 30 minutes, all night long. We slept fitfully, if at all, and left our room in the morning, intent on getting the “breakfast” portion of our “bed and breakfast” experience, since the “bed” part had been a bust. But our hostess was nowhere to be found, and there was nothing in the dining room except a box of cereal and some warm milk.

I was ready to just hit the road at that point, but Marcia was damned if she was going to be cheated out of both bed and breakfast. So we waited — listening to the roaring freight trains — until our hostess, who was also the town’s attorney, drifted in, and Marcia let her know in no uncertain terms that we wanted eggs, sausages, toast and other breakfast goodies as reward for the suffering we’d endured the night before. Our hostess actually retired to the kitchen and made those things, very slowly, and not very well. We ate, glowered, and hit the road for Minneapolis soon thereafter.

So when I realized, last night, that this same Ferryille, Wisconsin was a mere 30 miles from Decorah, Iowa, where I was staying, I decided I need to make a return visit. I found the Bed and Breakfast from Hell and — surprise, surprise, surprise — it is no longer a lodging destination. Here’s what it looks like today:

Former B&B From Hell, Ferrryville, Wisconsin. We stayed in the second floor room at front right in 1991. Sleep did not happen.

Former B&B From Hell, Ferrryville, Wisconsin. We stayed in the second floor room at front right in 1991. Sleep did not happen.

Why did we not sleep in Ferryville? Because huge freight trains barreled down these lines, directly across the street, all night long.

Why did we not sleep in Ferryville? Because huge freight trains barreled down these lines, directly across the street, all night long.

I crossed back into Iowa after my Ferryville reminiscence, and took a circuitous path back to Des Moines, along many roads I’d not driven before. I particularly liked the region around Elkader, and hope to return to it at some point with Marcia. Over the course of two days, I drove 742 miles, much of  that time spent on secondary or dirt roads. Excellent! I had an amazing close encounter with a bald eagle in a bog between Monona and Volney, sitting directly under a tree with him eye-balling me for 10 minutes or so, before he decided I bored him and moved on, gliding away down the river valley. Truly awesome.

It was a fun trip, and added to my Iowa Exploration Experience. Here’s the current map of places I’ve been in the state, with this weekend’s route in red:

My Iowa Exploration Map, April 2013 Route highlighted in red.

My Iowa Exploration Map, April 2013. The black lines indicate the placed I’ve been since November 2011. This past weekend’s route is highlighted in red.

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