John Smith

Since my given name is “John E. Smith,” I’ve spent most of my life hearing various and sundry Pocahantas or John Q. Public jokes, none of which are amusing, all of which are even less funny after you’ve heard them a couple of hundred times over the years. And when I try to check into a hotel? Sheesh . . . I can’t do it without getting “Oh, I see, Mr. Smith, hmm? Mr. John Smith, yes?? Bit obvious on the alibi, aren’t we?? Ha ha hah. Oh, and this lovely lady must be Mrs. Smith, of course, yes? [leer and wink]. Oh, yes, we have a room for you right here, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Would the hourly rate be best for you this evening?” So the next time you encounter me, or the next time you encounter one of the world’s other unfortunate John Smiths, please refrain from making light of our names. We’ve heard it all before.

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